We give our children ice-cream if they’re "good", chocolate if they’re quiet, little gold stars if they eat their greens, maybe even money if they get good marks at school. We praise them with a "good boy!" or "good girl!" if they do something that pleases us. For the modern and discerning parent, the hitting-and-shaming method of "discipline" is passé. Punishment is out, and rewards are in. Why use the stick, when we can better teach a child by using a carrot? The New Age hype about praising and rewarding children for what we call "good" behavior has gained massive popularity. "Find something good your child has done, and praise them for it!" say the nouveau "how-to" books and seminars. Psychologists all over recommend the "star-chart" treatment to modify your child’s behavior. This trend is the offspring of a particular school of psychology - the "behaviorists" - whose thinking currently dominates much of mainstream psychological and educational theory. MORE...
Robin Grille
From immediately after birth to roughly 18 months of age, the baby's vitality and focus for need-gratification is centered in and around her mouth. The unfolding drama of this time revolves around the baby's expression of need; her reaching out and taking in of physical and emotional nourishment. Her arms and hands, her skin and, most importantly of all, her mouth are exquisitely alive centers of awareness that pleasurably connect her to a nourishing world. While the baby is still vulnerable and dependent, many cultures advocate breast-feeding on demand and co-sleeping. The baby is seldom put down and remains in near- permanent physical contact with a loving parent or older sibling, at least until she shows signs of wanting to crawl and walk. MORE...