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	<title>Comments on: Rewards and Praise: The Poisoned Carrot</title>
	<atom:link href="http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot</link>
	<description>When we got married the registry wouldn't let me put Super Hero as my occupation, they put Home Duties on our marriage certificate instead. But I AM a Super Hero and my Super Hero name is...... The Nourisher.</description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 22:49:57 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>By: Cathy Mifsud</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-16219</link>
		<dc:creator>Cathy Mifsud</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 24 Nov 2008 00:13:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-16219</guid>
		<description>Dearest Robin Grille
I can't thank you enough! Shortly after my 3 yo was born I read your book, " Parenting for a Peaceful World". I learnt so much and even though some wrong inherited habits  of mine are hard to break I still bounce back knowing that even if I'm only a small improvement on my folks, I'm still contributing to world peace and better health. 
Also, thanks for bringing me closer to my folks through better understanding. 

Just recently I discovered John Taylor Gatto and just like you this guys gonna help us heal the world . Thanks to John Gatto I wont be handing my daughter over to school for brainwashing / dumbing down. Going to homeschool / natural learning style my little one. 
Another thing effecting our childrens developing brains apart from food and emotional nourishment is water fluoridation currently being forced upon us by our government. On the subject of water fluoridation and dumbing down any one opposing it can help by telephoning Get Up ( on line fast growing Aussie action group ) and asking them to help end water fluoridation in Australia starting with exposing government officials constant lies on effectiveness and fluorides hidden dangers.
GET UP Contacts : (02) 9264 4037. 

Thanks again Robin!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dearest Robin Grille<br />
I can&#8217;t thank you enough! Shortly after my 3 yo was born I read your book, &#8221; Parenting for a Peaceful World&#8221;. I learnt so much and even though some wrong inherited habits  of mine are hard to break I still bounce back knowing that even if I&#8217;m only a small improvement on my folks, I&#8217;m still contributing to world peace and better health.<br />
Also, thanks for bringing me closer to my folks through better understanding. </p>
<p>Just recently I discovered John Taylor Gatto and just like you this guys gonna help us heal the world . Thanks to John Gatto I wont be handing my daughter over to school for brainwashing / dumbing down. Going to homeschool / natural learning style my little one.<br />
Another thing effecting our childrens developing brains apart from food and emotional nourishment is water fluoridation currently being forced upon us by our government. On the subject of water fluoridation and dumbing down any one opposing it can help by telephoning Get Up ( on line fast growing Aussie action group ) and asking them to help end water fluoridation in Australia starting with exposing government officials constant lies on effectiveness and fluorides hidden dangers.<br />
GET UP Contacts : (02) 9264 4037. </p>
<p>Thanks again Robin!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	<item>
		<title>By: Wes</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-16191</link>
		<dc:creator>Wes</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Nov 2008 23:29:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-16191</guid>
		<description>Brilliant!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Brilliant!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>By: neal pardoe</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-16186</link>
		<dc:creator>neal pardoe</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:38:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-16186</guid>
		<description>Hope this is ok, a couple of rather lengthy quotes from the book "Awareness" by Anthony de Mello, and so appropriate to this article as are his quotes from "Summerhill" by A.S. Neill. All parents should be required to read Summerhill, its a truly life changing book.

Ch 52 Losing Control
I'm going to quote a great man here, a man named A. S. Neill.  He is 
the author of Summerhill.  Neill says that the sign of a sick child 
is that he is always hovering around his parents; he is interested in 
persons. The healthy child has no interest in persons, he is 
interested in things.  When a child is sure of his mother's love, he 
forgets his mother; he goes out to explore the world; he is curious.  
He looks for a frog to put in his mouth -- that kind of thing.  When 
a child is hovering around his mother, it's a bad sign; he's 
insecure.  Maybe his mother has been trying to suck love out of him, 
not give him all the freedom and assurance he wants.  His mother's 
always been threatening in many subtle ways to abandon him.
So we were given a taste of various drug addictions: approval, 
attention, success, making it to the top, prestige, getting your name 
in the paper, power, being the boss.  We were given a taste of things 
like being the captain of the team, leading the band, etc.  Having a 
taste for these drugs, we became addicted and began to dread losing 
them.  Recall the lack of control you felt, the terror at the 
prospect of failure or of making mistakes, at the prospect of 
criticism by others.  So you became cravenly dependent on others and 
you lost your freedom.  Others now have the power to make you happy 
or miserable.  You crave your drugs, but as much as you hate the 
suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless.  
There is never a minute when, consciously or unconsciously, you 
are not aware of or attuned to the reactions of others, marching to 
the beat of their drums.
A nice definition of an awakened person: a person who no longer 
marches to the drums of society, a person who dances to the tune of 
the music that springs up from within.  
When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness 
so unbearable that you crawl back to people and beg for the comforting 
drug called support and encouragement and reassurance.  To live with people in this state involves a never-ending tension. 


Ch 56 The Land of Love
I've got a lovely quote here, a few sentences that I would write in 
gold.  I picked them up from A. S. Neil's book Summerhill.  I must 
give you the background.  You probably know that Neill was in 
education for forty years.  He developed a kind of maverick school.  
He took in boys and girls and just let them be free.  You want to 
learn to read and write, fine; you don't want to learn to read and 
write, fine.  You can do anything you want with your life, provided 
you don't interfere with the freedom of someone else.  Don't 
interfere with someone else's freedom; otherwise you're free.  He 
says that the worst ones came to him from convent school.  
This was in the old days, of course.  He said it took them about six 
months to get over all the anger and the resentment that they had 
repressed.  They'd be rebelling for six months, fighting the system.  
The worst was a girl who would take a bicycle and ride into town, 
avoiding class, avoiding school, avoiding everything.  But once they 
got over their rebellion, everybody wanted to learn; they even began 
protesting, "Why don't we have class today?"  But they would only 
take what they were interested in.  They'd be transformed.  In the 
beginning parents were frightened to send their children to this 
school; they said, "How can you educate them if you don't 
discipline them?  You've got to teach them, guide them."  What was 
the secret of Neill's success?  He'd get the worst children, the ones 
everybody else had despaired of, and within six months they'd all be 
transformed.  Listen to what he said -- extraordinary words, holy 
words.  "Every child has a god in him.  Our attempts to mold the 
child will turn the god into a devil.  Children come to my school, 
little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmannerly, lying, 
thieving, bad tempered.  In six months they are happy, healthy 
children who do no evil."  These are amazing words coming from a man 
whose school in Britain is regularly inspected by people from the 
Ministry of Education, by any headmaster or headmistress or anyone 
who would care to go there.  Amazing.  It was his charisma.  You 
don't do this kind of thing from a blueprint; you've got to be a 
special kind of person.  In some of his lectures to headmasters and 
headmistresses he says, "Come to Summerhill and you'll find that all 
the fruit trees are laden with fruit; nobody's taking the fruits off 
the trees; there's no desire to attack authority; they're well fed 
and there's no resentment and anger.  Come to Summerhill and you'll 
never find a handicapped child with a nickname (you know how 
cruel kids can be when someone stammers).  You'll never find anyone 
needling a stammerer, never.  There's no violence in those children, 
because no one is practicing violence on them, that's why."  Listen 
to these words of revelation, sacred words.  We have people in the 
world like this.  No matter what scholars and priests and theologians 
tell you, there are and have been people who have no quarrels, no 
jealousies, no conflicts, no wars, no enmities, none!  They exist in 
my country, or, sad to say, they existed until relatively recently.  
I've had Jesuit friends go out to live and work among people who, 
they assured me, were incapable of stealing or lying.  One Sister 
said to me that when she went to the northeast of India to work among 
some tribes there, the people would lock up nothing.  Nothing 
was ever stolen and they never told lies until the Indian government 
and missionaries showed up.
Every child has a god in him; our attempts to mold the child will 
turn the god into a devil.

Now .  .  .  back to Neill. He says, "And I am no genius, I am merely 
a man who refuses to guide the steps of children."  But what, then, 
of original sin?  Neill says that every child has a god in him; our 
attempts to mold him will turn the god into a devil.  He lets 
children form their own values, and the values are invariably good 
and social.  Can you believe that?  When a child feels loved (which 
means: when a child feels you're on his side), he's O.K.  The child 
doesn't experience violence anymore.  No fear, so no violence.  The 
child begins to treat others the way he has been treated.  You've got 
to read that book.  It's a holy book, it really is.  Read it; it 
revolutionized my life and my dealings with people.  I began to see 
miracles.  I began to see the self dissatisfaction that had 
been ingrained in me, the competition, the comparisons, the that's 
notgoodenough, etc.  You might object that if they hadn't pushed me, 
I wouldn't have become what I am.  Did I need all that pushing?  And 
anyway, who wants to be what I am?  I want to be happy, I want to be 
holy, I want to be loving, I want to be at peace, I want to be free, 
I want to be human.

I repeat what Neill said: "Every child has a god in him.  Our attempts 
to mold the child will turn the god into a devil.  Children come to 
my school, little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmannerly, 
lying, thieving, bad tempered.  In six months they are happy, healthy 
children who do no evil.  And I am no genius, I am merely a man who 
refuses to guide the steps of children.  I let them form their own 
values and the values are invariably good and social.  The religion 
that makes people good makes people bad, but the religion known as 
freedom makes all people good, for it destroys the inner conflict 
[I've added the word "inner"] that makes people devils."

end quotes.

what a different world it *could* be.

neal.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hope this is ok, a couple of rather lengthy quotes from the book &#8220;Awareness&#8221; by Anthony de Mello, and so appropriate to this article as are his quotes from &#8220;Summerhill&#8221; by A.S. Neill. All parents should be required to read Summerhill, its a truly life changing book.</p>
<p>Ch 52 Losing Control<br />
I&#8217;m going to quote a great man here, a man named A. S. Neill.  He is<br />
the author of Summerhill.  Neill says that the sign of a sick child<br />
is that he is always hovering around his parents; he is interested in<br />
persons. The healthy child has no interest in persons, he is<br />
interested in things.  When a child is sure of his mother&#8217;s love, he<br />
forgets his mother; he goes out to explore the world; he is curious.<br />
He looks for a frog to put in his mouth &#8212; that kind of thing.  When<br />
a child is hovering around his mother, it&#8217;s a bad sign; he&#8217;s<br />
insecure.  Maybe his mother has been trying to suck love out of him,<br />
not give him all the freedom and assurance he wants.  His mother&#8217;s<br />
always been threatening in many subtle ways to abandon him.<br />
So we were given a taste of various drug addictions: approval,<br />
attention, success, making it to the top, prestige, getting your name<br />
in the paper, power, being the boss.  We were given a taste of things<br />
like being the captain of the team, leading the band, etc.  Having a<br />
taste for these drugs, we became addicted and began to dread losing<br />
them.  Recall the lack of control you felt, the terror at the<br />
prospect of failure or of making mistakes, at the prospect of<br />
criticism by others.  So you became cravenly dependent on others and<br />
you lost your freedom.  Others now have the power to make you happy<br />
or miserable.  You crave your drugs, but as much as you hate the<br />
suffering that this involves, you find yourself completely helpless.<br />
There is never a minute when, consciously or unconsciously, you<br />
are not aware of or attuned to the reactions of others, marching to<br />
the beat of their drums.<br />
A nice definition of an awakened person: a person who no longer<br />
marches to the drums of society, a person who dances to the tune of<br />
the music that springs up from within.<br />
When you are ignored or disapproved of, you experience a loneliness<br />
so unbearable that you crawl back to people and beg for the comforting<br />
drug called support and encouragement and reassurance.  To live with people in this state involves a never-ending tension. </p>
<p>Ch 56 The Land of Love<br />
I&#8217;ve got a lovely quote here, a few sentences that I would write in<br />
gold.  I picked them up from A. S. Neil&#8217;s book Summerhill.  I must<br />
give you the background.  You probably know that Neill was in<br />
education for forty years.  He developed a kind of maverick school.<br />
He took in boys and girls and just let them be free.  You want to<br />
learn to read and write, fine; you don&#8217;t want to learn to read and<br />
write, fine.  You can do anything you want with your life, provided<br />
you don&#8217;t interfere with the freedom of someone else.  Don&#8217;t<br />
interfere with someone else&#8217;s freedom; otherwise you&#8217;re free.  He<br />
says that the worst ones came to him from convent school.<br />
This was in the old days, of course.  He said it took them about six<br />
months to get over all the anger and the resentment that they had<br />
repressed.  They&#8217;d be rebelling for six months, fighting the system.<br />
The worst was a girl who would take a bicycle and ride into town,<br />
avoiding class, avoiding school, avoiding everything.  But once they<br />
got over their rebellion, everybody wanted to learn; they even began<br />
protesting, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t we have class today?&#8221;  But they would only<br />
take what they were interested in.  They&#8217;d be transformed.  In the<br />
beginning parents were frightened to send their children to this<br />
school; they said, &#8220;How can you educate them if you don&#8217;t<br />
discipline them?  You&#8217;ve got to teach them, guide them.&#8221;  What was<br />
the secret of Neill&#8217;s success?  He&#8217;d get the worst children, the ones<br />
everybody else had despaired of, and within six months they&#8217;d all be<br />
transformed.  Listen to what he said &#8212; extraordinary words, holy<br />
words.  &#8220;Every child has a god in him.  Our attempts to mold the<br />
child will turn the god into a devil.  Children come to my school,<br />
little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmannerly, lying,<br />
thieving, bad tempered.  In six months they are happy, healthy<br />
children who do no evil.&#8221;  These are amazing words coming from a man<br />
whose school in Britain is regularly inspected by people from the<br />
Ministry of Education, by any headmaster or headmistress or anyone<br />
who would care to go there.  Amazing.  It was his charisma.  You<br />
don&#8217;t do this kind of thing from a blueprint; you&#8217;ve got to be a<br />
special kind of person.  In some of his lectures to headmasters and<br />
headmistresses he says, &#8220;Come to Summerhill and you&#8217;ll find that all<br />
the fruit trees are laden with fruit; nobody&#8217;s taking the fruits off<br />
the trees; there&#8217;s no desire to attack authority; they&#8217;re well fed<br />
and there&#8217;s no resentment and anger.  Come to Summerhill and you&#8217;ll<br />
never find a handicapped child with a nickname (you know how<br />
cruel kids can be when someone stammers).  You&#8217;ll never find anyone<br />
needling a stammerer, never.  There&#8217;s no violence in those children,<br />
because no one is practicing violence on them, that&#8217;s why.&#8221;  Listen<br />
to these words of revelation, sacred words.  We have people in the<br />
world like this.  No matter what scholars and priests and theologians<br />
tell you, there are and have been people who have no quarrels, no<br />
jealousies, no conflicts, no wars, no enmities, none!  They exist in<br />
my country, or, sad to say, they existed until relatively recently.<br />
I&#8217;ve had Jesuit friends go out to live and work among people who,<br />
they assured me, were incapable of stealing or lying.  One Sister<br />
said to me that when she went to the northeast of India to work among<br />
some tribes there, the people would lock up nothing.  Nothing<br />
was ever stolen and they never told lies until the Indian government<br />
and missionaries showed up.<br />
Every child has a god in him; our attempts to mold the child will<br />
turn the god into a devil.</p>
<p>Now .  .  .  back to Neill. He says, &#8220;And I am no genius, I am merely<br />
a man who refuses to guide the steps of children.&#8221;  But what, then,<br />
of original sin?  Neill says that every child has a god in him; our<br />
attempts to mold him will turn the god into a devil.  He lets<br />
children form their own values, and the values are invariably good<br />
and social.  Can you believe that?  When a child feels loved (which<br />
means: when a child feels you&#8217;re on his side), he&#8217;s O.K.  The child<br />
doesn&#8217;t experience violence anymore.  No fear, so no violence.  The<br />
child begins to treat others the way he has been treated.  You&#8217;ve got<br />
to read that book.  It&#8217;s a holy book, it really is.  Read it; it<br />
revolutionized my life and my dealings with people.  I began to see<br />
miracles.  I began to see the self dissatisfaction that had<br />
been ingrained in me, the competition, the comparisons, the that&#8217;s<br />
notgoodenough, etc.  You might object that if they hadn&#8217;t pushed me,<br />
I wouldn&#8217;t have become what I am.  Did I need all that pushing?  And<br />
anyway, who wants to be what I am?  I want to be happy, I want to be<br />
holy, I want to be loving, I want to be at peace, I want to be free,<br />
I want to be human.</p>
<p>I repeat what Neill said: &#8220;Every child has a god in him.  Our attempts<br />
to mold the child will turn the god into a devil.  Children come to<br />
my school, little devils, hating the world, destructive, unmannerly,<br />
lying, thieving, bad tempered.  In six months they are happy, healthy<br />
children who do no evil.  And I am no genius, I am merely a man who<br />
refuses to guide the steps of children.  I let them form their own<br />
values and the values are invariably good and social.  The religion<br />
that makes people good makes people bad, but the religion known as<br />
freedom makes all people good, for it destroys the inner conflict<br />
[I've added the word "inner"] that makes people devils.&#8221;</p>
<p>end quotes.</p>
<p>what a different world it *could* be.</p>
<p>neal.</p>
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		<title>By: Jeanette Morris</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-16176</link>
		<dc:creator>Jeanette Morris</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:29:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-16176</guid>
		<description>WOW! Thank you so much for this insightful article. 
I have been struggling with the Rewards system in place at my children's school - knowing it was potentially causing long-term damage, knowing inside that it was wrong, yet not knowing how to explain it to the teachers. Your article has been like a breath of fresh air! Thank you for putting these truths into words, and thank God for "Google" that helped me find it!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>WOW! Thank you so much for this insightful article.<br />
I have been struggling with the Rewards system in place at my children&#8217;s school - knowing it was potentially causing long-term damage, knowing inside that it was wrong, yet not knowing how to explain it to the teachers. Your article has been like a breath of fresh air! Thank you for putting these truths into words, and thank God for &#8220;Google&#8221; that helped me find it!</p>
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		<title>By: Isla de Esperanza &#38;#187; Some interesting things&#38;#8230;</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-302</link>
		<dc:creator>Isla de Esperanza &#38;#187; Some interesting things&#38;#8230;</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Sep 2006 23:34:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-302</guid>
		<description>[...] Unschooling Voices is up at A Day in Our Lives (H/T EveryWakingHour). Be sure to read the article entitled Rewards and Praise: The Poisoned Carrot; I found it thought provoking with a lot of valid points. [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] Unschooling Voices is up at A Day in Our Lives (H/T EveryWakingHour). Be sure to read the article entitled Rewards and Praise: The Poisoned Carrot; I found it thought provoking with a lot of valid points. [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Debbilee</title>
		<link>http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/articles/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot#comment-301</link>
		<dc:creator>Debbilee</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jul 2006 03:11:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://editor.nourishedmagazine.com.au/2006/04/06/rewards-and-praise-the-poisoned-carrot/#comment-301</guid>
		<description>As I homeschool family this article has been priceless. We have moved from state education after 5 years and the reward system is firmly implanted in both my mind and those of my small children.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As I homeschool family this article has been priceless. We have moved from state education after 5 years and the reward system is firmly implanted in both my mind and those of my small children.</p>
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