Our dd is 14 months old and we cosleep. It has been brilliant! We have not had 1 night with a crying baby!
Just warm milky cuddles all night long!! Our dd has access to breastfeeding 24 hours a day however she has started sleeping through the night even with a breast within reach!
We can’t wait to add another to our bed!

In ancient Chinese culture.. and still today children commonly sleep with the elderly in the family. It is said to be good for the child as well as the health of the aging grandparent-the child’s excess energy is ’soaked up’ by granny at night.

Please also be reassured that sleeping with an older child is not pathological, and does not hinder any progress. It is normal in most parts of the world, and has been normal through the vast majority of human history, for members of a family, tribe or village to share sleep.

For our ancestors, this was vital for safety- even an 8yo and certainly a younger child, would have been in danger for their lives, if they had slept alone outdoors. The urge to be in a safe situation at night (which, for a child means the presence of an adult) is hard-wired into our brains, and especially our babies and children’s brains, which is why they will protest at being left alone at night, and why we have so many ’sleep problems’ in our culture.

Thanks for your thoughtful question, and for your concern for your stepson.

This is tricky, Claire, and there are several ways to look at it.
Firstly, I notice that households do seem to revolve around the youngest member, and I think that’s just how it is. However, this is not an excuse for tyranny! I’m sure that your friend has her hands very full with 5 children (and I know that we tend to go on the ‘easiest’ path when we are busy), but she will have to set some limits with her child, and teach her to be respectful of her mother’s needs, for her child’s sake as well as her own.
Personally I had this problem mostly with my first child, and I found the book Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon to be a great help. It’s basically about being respectful but assertive with our children, and I like this appoach because it doesn’t use punishment, rewards, praise, star charts, or even consistency. It’s about being emotionally real. Look for it in your public library, or, even better, do the course, which is run all round Australia. I have written more about this in an article called The foundations of gentle discipline in the previous edition of Natural Parenting, (number 8, Spring 200 see http://www.naturalparenting.com.au for back issues)
The second approach that I have fnd helpful is from US author and psychologist Aletha Solter. She offers some wonderful tools to help children release emotions. I have found that tyrranical toddlers often just need emotional release, and time to cry (being held or close to a loving parent). This is especially good for fiery children, but I believe that we all can benefit (adults included!) You can read her material at http://www.awareparenting.com (which includes my favourite-ever article on discipline, called The disadvantages of time out)
Her books are Tears and Tantrums (probably the best for your friend), The Aware Baby and Helping Young Children to Flourish, available from http://www.natureschild.com.au, or see the latest issue of Natural parenting http://www.naturalparenting.com.au for some articles about her approach.
Aletha is also touring Australia in early Febuary- see below for contacts
email susan@naturalparenting.com.au or Marion at cloud9@mullumonline.net
I hope this is helpful
Blessings
Sarah

The more I read, the more I listened to myself and saw how happy she was, the more i knew that co sleeping was the RIGHT thing.

She stayed in our bed till she was 2 - when she decided that she wanted a special bed!. Our son (who is now nearly 7) stayed in our bed up until 5. He had his own room with his own bed (he would sleep in his bed prolly 2 nights/and the rest in ours). Our youngest daughter who is 14 months has only ever slept in our bed.

We love it - and yes we have a fabulous sex life thats not interrupted by sleeping kids. The other thing that is great - with both of us working, we love the closeness we have with the kids. Our son sometimes comes in and jumps into bed - or makes a makeshift bed on the floor of our room. Even the eldest - who is all too mature and grownup at 14 - comes in and sleeps with me when her dad is away on business.

On the bed front and comfort from. Buy a king. You will never feel uncomfortable even with a 6 yo and baby and 2 grownups in the bed!